The Next Thing

God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be. So He put his arms around you and whispered "come with me". With tearful eyes I watched you, and saw you pass away. Although I loved you dearly I could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard-working hands at rest,God broke my heart to prove to me he only takes the BEST. - Author Unknown (at least to me)

Part of me wishes that we were already back in Canada, as being here just seems so sad without Craig. Another part of me wants to stay as this is where "Craig is". This is where we lived our entire married life and this is where my memories are, the places we walked, our favourite restaurants, our 'home', and hundreds of inside jokes that no one knows but me. That part of me never wants to leave, as the thought of going back to Canada without Craig scares and overwhelms me. It's a tough place to be.

Legal decisions and paperwork are currently what is delaying our return to Canada. I would imagine that legal issues and paperwork for this type of situation would take a while in Canada as well, but it is taking even longer here. Everything seems to hinge on something else, and we are at a disadvantage because of the language barrier. Everything we do, say or gather information about needs to be done through a translator and nothing seems to happen quickly. However, with all that said we are making progress. Little by little things are getting done, and while nothing happens over the weekend, we are hoping to make some headway this week and our plan right now is to home by the end of next week.

Our apartment is almost all packed, my dad is a master packer and has managed to get all of our belongings into 6-7 suitcases (only mailing home two boxes of books). :) In all the time we have had here we have continued to fold cranes. We are at 600 now. Yay!!



Thank you for all the e-mails, facebook messages, and blog comments. I have been too overwhelmed to respond, but know that I appreciate them and am encouraged by your prayers and thoughts. This journey is far from over, but God is sovereign and He gives me just enough strength to do the next thing, and then once that is done, He gives me more strength. I have been encouraged by a poem that Elisabeth Elliot wrote after her husband died about just focusing on 'the next thing.'

Do The Next Thing

At an old English cottage down by the sea,
there came in the twilight a message to me.
Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven
that, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.
And all through the hours the quiet words ring,
like a low inspiration, 'Do the next thing.'

Many a questioning, many a fear,
many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
time, opportunity, guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,
trust that with Jesus, do the next thing.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer,
do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
leave all resultings, do the next thing.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
working or suffering be thy demeanor,
in His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
the light of His countenance, be thy psalm.
Do the next thing."

Some days, like today, are okay days. I feel okay and the sad doesn't seem quite so overpowering. Some days I feel like there is a sadness that goes all the way to my core and it's hard to see anything good. Please continue to pray for me and for our families as we have a lot of healing to do.

Love,
Kristin

500 Cranes Made, and 500 Cranes To Go

As I have done some more research on Sadako Sasaki I learned that she fell short of her goal of making 1000 crances as her illness took over and she passed away. I too, fell short of making 1000 cranes to put by Craig's bed, but I still plan to finish them as a memory of him and our year in Korea together. To date we have made 500 and that is the half way mark. Yay! I discovered an easier way to make them which has helped, although my original way is more precise.

Encouraging Thoughts

I was going to post this earlier in the week, but thought that I would still pass it along to hopefully encourage you.

Both my mom and my grandma are good writers, and they have both written poems recently that they have passed on to me this week. My grandpa also passed on an encouraging poem that I thought I would share with you. I have included the different Bible verses they gave me in The Message version, as that is one of Craig's favourite versions.

From Grandma:

Jeremiah 32:17 “Dear God, my Master, you created earth and sky by your great power—by merely stretching out your arm! There is nothing you can't do.”

Jeremiah 32:27 “Stay alert! I am God, the God of everything living. Is there anything I can't do?”

Jeremiah 33:3 “'Call to me and I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.'”


Is anything too hard for Thee, Thou God of all creation?
Nay, everything about Thee is beyond our comprehension.

With Thee all things are possible - when we come to Thee in prayer
Thine ear is listening for our cries; Thou knowest every care.

Nothing is too hard for Thee, petitions great or small;
Thy love and grace are ever near to help us through them all.

We bow in thankfulness our God, that from Thy lofty throne
In tenderness Thou lookest down and carest for Thine own.

Oh God who made the moon, the sun, the sparkling stars above;
We thank Thee Thou are waiting still to bless us with Thy love.


Also in the New Testament we have the same expression in
Mark 10:27 “Jesus was blunt: 'No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it.'” WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!


From Grandpa:

"Life's Weaving"

Life is but a weaving
between my God and me;
I may not choose the colours,
...He knows what they should be.

For He can view the pattern
Upon the upper side,
While I can see it only
On this, the under side.

Sometimes He weaveth sorrow,
Which seemeth strange to me;
But I will trust His judgement,
And work on faithfully.

'Tis He who fills the shuttle,
He knows just what is best;
So I shall weave in earnest
And leave with Him the rest.

At last, when life is ended,
With Him I shall abide,
And I may view the pattern
Upon the upper side,

Then I shall know the reason
Why pain with joy entwined,
Was woven in the fabric
Of life that God designed.

Author Unknown

From Mom:

1 Samuel 7:12 – Samuel took a single rock and set it upright....He named it 'Ebenezer' (Rock of Help), saying, “This marks the place where God helped us.”

In addition to giving me this poem, she gave me a little smooth stone with the word Ebenezer written on it and this Bible reference on the other side. This way I can hold it in my hand and remember that God is in control, and I can remember all the people who are praying.

EBENEZER

This stone you hold is rather tiny,
Not colourful or bright and shiny.
But it's a special stone, you see,
A gift of love for you, from me.
My prayer is when you see this stone,
You'll remember you are not alone.
The Lord is with you everyday,
To help you all along life's way.
So even though it's rather tiny,
Not colourful or bright and shiny.
It's message always will be true,
He's more than able to help you!


Many of you have also shared verses and poems with me, and I appreciate that so much. We read Psalm 91 to Craig a few times when we went to visit him, and it was/is an encouragement to all of us.


Psalm 91

You who sit down in the High God's presence,
spend the night in Shaddai's shadow,
Say this: "God, you're my refuge.
I trust in you and I'm safe!"
That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you're perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You'll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God's your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can't get close to you,
harm can't get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they'll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.
"If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God,
"I'll get you out of any trouble.
I'll give you the best of care
if you'll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I'll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I'll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!"



Love,
Kristin for Craig too

Craig Bradley Simmons, I will always love you

My dear, sweet husband, Craig, quietly slipped away and went to be with his Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ on June 16, 2010, at 8:30am in South Korea. I was able to be with him at the end (with my mom and our friend Marg), and the nurses even put his bed rail down and let me sit in his bed and hold him as he met Jesus for the first time. I miss him more than words can say and my body physically aches with sadness. But his body was so hurt, and it would have taken so long for him to heal, and even then he might not have been "our Craig", as his brain was so damaged. This way he never even knew he was hurt. As far as he knew, one minute he was walking home, and the next minute he was walking towards Jesus. He is fully healed and healthy, he is happy, and he probably doesn't even need his glasses anymore. :) His life was not near as long as I would have liked it to be, but I guess God needed him more, and He is going to take good care of him until I/we get there. He was the best husband a girl could ever ask for and I wouldn't trade our 10 month marriage for anything in the world. We had more adventures and excitement then some people might ever have, and I have those memories to keep with me forever. Thank you so much for your prayers while he was in the hospital. God didn't answer them the way we wanted, but Craig is healed, and that is an answer to prayer. Please continue to keep me and our families in your prayers as life without Craig just doesn't seem as fun as life with Craig, but we will never forget him and we will always love him.

Love,
Kristin for our families

Craig is so popular, but then I always knew that!

I have been amazed and blessed at the amount of people who have written me e-mails, facebook messages, commented on this blog, called me, and visited the hospital. Craig is a very well-liked guy. He has wonderful parents who raised him well and all through his life he has impacted people. I have even received messages from some of his elementary school friends letting me know they are praying for him. Every time we go into see him, I tell him all the people who have called, written or stopped by. So thank you, from both of us. It was a great encouragement to have a friend from PNG (who is teaching in Seoul) come and stay with me at the hospital for a few days until my mom arrived. Craig and I visited him in November, and they hit it off well. My mom is here now, and that is also a huge encouragement. I think I even managed to get some sleep last night and I felt more comfortable taking a little nap this afternoon because I knew she was here and was awake in case something happened. She has been a great help with double checking things with the Koreans translating and sitting with me when I hear updates (whether good or bad). She makes sitting here in the hospital passing time a little more bearable. I am so thankful she is able to be here. We have had several visitors from church come by, as well as people from Korean churches in the area who heard from friends, and they have come by to pray with us and to see if we need anything. I even received a call from an Anglican bishop last night who said he would have an Anglican priest call me later (as the priest speaks better English). I am fortunate to have made some very good Korean friends in my co-workers this year, and some of them stop by every day and they make sure we have eaten, gotten some rest and taken a shower. They are also always willing to drive us back to our apartment and then pick us up again. Someone from Craig's school comes every night to stay in case we need any Korean translating and they try to make sure we are never alone at the hospital without a Korean. It is not easy sitting here all day waiting to visit and wishing that I could do something to make Craig better, but it is nice to have the love and support of so many people around the world and we have you to thank for that.

Love,
Kristin for Craig too

Please Pray for Tomorrow's Brain Scan

We spoke with the doctor today and while the news was not exactly as encouraging as we were hoping it we would be, there was some good news. It is sometimes difficult when we speak to the doctor as everything is done through another Korean translating, and there always seems to be much more Korean spoken, than English relayed. There does not seem to be much bleeding coming out of his chest anymore – so that is very good. His lung should be healed in 1-2 weeks once the bleeding is completely stopped. His ribs will take several months to heal, but he can be moved before they are completely healed. A HUGE praise is that neither of his arms or legs had any broken bones as a result of the accident (as far as we can tell). My husband is a strong man! He is breathing on his own about 50% of the time, and he is hooked up to a machine that helps out the other 50%. His right ear was torn when he was hit, and they have repaired it with stitches, but there is a chance of hearing loss (although this can be fixed with a hearing aid). His ear will still be able to hold up his glasses though – I was sure to check. :)

He is currently being given medicine to help reduce the swelling in the brain, as this is still the doctor's major concern. His brain stem is fine – which is a praise, and the doctor said if part of his brain had to be hurt, it is better that it is the right side (which it is), as any left side damage would be much more serious. The doctor says there is a lot of damage to the right side of the brain and this is a big cause for concern. PLEASE PRAY extra hard tomorrow morning (Tuesday- Korean time), tomorrow night (Monday- Canada/US time) as Craig will go in for another brain scan. Please pray that God will work a miracle as Craig sleeps tonight and that God will heal my husband's brain, even just a little bit tonight so that when we get the scans back tomorrow there is a little bit of progress. I am confident that God can do this. Thank you.

Love,
Kristin for Craig too

I have an amazing husband!

I feel so blessed to be married to such a strong man. He looked good this morning too. I had to sign a form today for them to give him some medicine as they couldn't locate a vein in his arm, so they had to go through the clavicle vein. There is a 1% chance of side effects, but we were told later the procedure was a success. :) When we went to visit him he looked really good. Just as handsome as ever. :) He looked like they had washed him, as some of the iodine on his skin was gone, and he looked like he had a nice shave. He is blinking more with his left eye, and his right eye is starting to look really good. It is open a little more, and the black colour is going away and it is not swollen at all. His blood pressure was down today and that was excellent. One of the numbers they are tracking on his monitor is oxygen level and I was told that 95 was really good. Yesterday it was at 92 and today it was up to 96. :) He still has a fever, so they are working on bringing that down. It is not because of infection but just because his brain is still healing. I did tell the nurse that he sweats a lot (even when he is healthy), and I have told Craig that they have probably never had a patient that sweats as much as him. :) So it has been an encouraging morning so far, and I think later we will be going to talk to a doctor. Thank you again for your continued prayers, we need them.

Love,
Kristin for Craig too

Mom Is Here!!!

Good news today, my mom is here!! Big Yay!! It was very good to see her, and she has given me hugs from all of you that have sent them this way. Thank you!

We got just back from visiting Craig, and he looked good today. He was moving his feet a little and his head, and I think I saw his eye blink. The nurses said that he is doing great. A doctor went to check on him this morning, even though it was not a scheduled check, and he also said Craig is going great. So he is getting lots of great care, and that is good news!!

His breathing continues to improve as when he was first admitted to the ICU his breaths were very laboured and small. He seems to be breathing at a more normal pace and they don't seem as laboured. This is also good news.

It has been a more encouraging morning, and I have yet to cry today. Yay! :) We are making small steps to recovery. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Love,
Kristin for Craig too

Paper Crane Progress

We have passed the 200 mark with the paper cranes. The Korean girls that have been staying with me are pros. It is a tradition in Korean culture, that when you are in middle school you make 100 paper cranes and put them in the locker, of the boy you like. :) So they have all had a lot of practice folding cranes. :)

Brief Hospital Tour

Brief Hospital Tour from ryanmortinson on Vimeo.

New Brain Scan

Craig went in for a brain scan this morning, which is a good thing. I was able to talk with the doctor when I went to visit him at 11:30am. The bleeding in his brain has stopped, and it looks better than it did when he came in. The doctor was very concerned about the central part of his brain when he first came in, and that is doing well. That part of the brain controls 8 things in the body, and Craig's is currently in control of all 8. Yay! The right side of his brain (the frontal lobe) is where he was hit and is damaged. There is also some damage to the left side of his brain. The right side is in charge of thinking, memory and behaviour, so this is a concern. Please pray that God will heal this so I can have my husband back, and that he will remember me and act like "Craig" when he wakes up.

His temperature seemed to be good today, he was not very sweaty and his skin felt normal to the touch. There was a doctor when I went to visit this morning who looked at his right eye (it is closed and very bruised), but the doctor said that only the skin is bruised and that his eyeball is okay. Yay! They will know more later once he wakes up, but that is good news for now.

Everyday and every visit is a little more positive change. It's sometimes hard as I don't feel like he is getting better very quickly, but it has only been about 72 hours since he first came into the hospital and he has improved a lot since then. I just have to remember daily, hourly and every minute that the One who put Craig together in the first place is the One who is holding him together now. It's going to be okay.

My mom is coming in tomorrow (BIG yay!), and one of Craig's Korean co-teachers offered to pick her up from the airport. Mom is flying in on Asiana Airlines, and this Korean girl used to be a flight attendant with Asiana Airlines and said she would call her friend to make sure they take care of my mom. God is good! My dad will fly in next Sunday, and my brother will come next Monday. It will be nice to have family close by, and I think Craig will appreciate it as well. Although, I have been blessed to see a new side of Korean culture, and my co-teachers and Craig's co-teachers have continued to be an encouragement to me.

Thank you again for your prayers, and please continue to pray for us.

Love,
Kristin for Craig too

How to Fold a Paper Crane

How to Make a Paper Crane from ryanmortinson on Vimeo.

1000 Paper Cranes

An ancient Japanese legend promises that anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish by a crane, such as long life or recovery from illness or injury.

There is a children's book called, Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes (based on a true story). When Craig was in elementary school, I think Grade 3, they read this book in his class. The story is about a girl who has cancer and, inspired by the crane starts to fill her days by folding paper cranes while she is in the hospital. After reading this story, Craig's class made 1000 paper cranes.

Craig has told me this story several times, and I recently learned how to make paper cranes myself. To help pass the time and to cheer Craig up when he wakes up, I am going to make 1000 paper cranes. My Korean friends are helping me, and think it will be a good project to help pass the time at the hospital.

Keep Praying

Thank you so much for your prayers and thoughts and love and e-mail
and facebook messages. It makes my heart so happy to know how many
people care and are thinking about us. I keep telling Craig that he is
so popular with all the phone calls and messages he is getting.

I was finally able to speak with a doctor today and I received some
good news. Yay! He will not need any more operations. His ribs and
lung will heal on their own. There is still some bleeding and air in
his chest, but that will start to go away. When I went into see him
tonight I was told that the tubes were removed from his head, which
means his brain is not excessively bleeding anymore. Yay again! His
colour looked good again today, and his left hand is free of tubes and
IV's so I am able to hold it when I sit with him. The part of his
brain that controls temperature and regulates fever is damaged so he
has a fever but not because of infection. He was also really sweaty
yesterday and clammy to the touch, but was much better today. When I
held his hand it was just like he was sleeping. :) The doctor also
said that he is strong and in this situation, Craig is doing better
than most people do. Third Yay! I prayed last night that God would
just make him a little better today and he was a little better TWICE!

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. I am being blessed by
co-workers, friends and other believers as I sit in the hospital and
wait to be with my love, but night is very hard. I find it hard to
sleep when it is dark and my brain just starts to think and go crazy.
I did get some sleeping pills for tonight, so I am hoping that will
help. Craig is strong, both physically and mentally and I am hopeful
that he will pull through this. He just needs to rest and I have told
him that. :)

Thank you again.

Love,
Kristin for Craig too

Please Pray

Most of you may have heard by now that Craig was in an accident last
night. He was hit by a bus while he was walking home from work. He was
in very critical condition when he went into the hospital as his brain
was bleeding quite a bit. He has currently had two operations and they
have managed to reduce the bleeding. His brain is still swelling so
they have been unable to "put his head" all the way together again. He
has broken almost all of his ribs, and he has a punctured lung which
is causing internal bleeding.

However, he is a strong man, and the bus hit his right side so his
heart was not at all damaged. He has some movement in his body (mostly
jerky movements in reaction to all that has happened). His left eye is
open a little moves around, which is a huge praise as his eyes were
not open when he first came in. He is in good hands, and we may be
moving him to a larger hospital later today.

It is VERY hard to be so far away from everyone at this time, but I
have a Korean 'family' here with me, as all of my co-workers have come
to the hospital so I am in good hands as well. Please keep us in your
prayers. Thank you.

Love,
Kristin for Craig too